Quote: Couldn't you politely convey what you so concisely said above about mistrust? How would he take it?
This is exactly what I did do! Not sure what kind of response it will get right now, but in the past he has understood what I was trying to say.
Quote: I haven't gotten to our agreement to outline the interactions that would be acceptable to each of us, respectively. I'm wondering if this sort of cake eating, if that is what it is in your opinion, is acceptable to you?
I hope you've been too busy having fun to finish your outline. Hmmm, I'm going to need to think about your question more-- in terms of whether I think that's what it is. On one level, yes. And no, that's not OK.
As for your question, not sure I can generalize it. Email hasn't necessarily improved our communication, but it's a tool H uses a lot in all areas of his life. We've had much better dialogue via IM or in person. Much better.
Email has on occasion allowed me to express myself clearly when our emotions were heated-- and allowed him to read and digest things when I wasn't around. But I think it also makes it easy for me to talk when I should be listening...
Dialogue via email (where we each respond) is a bit new for us. H has tended to keep his emails light or business oriented. And he isn't someone who routinely responds to emails the way I do.
Here's something I've realized... his light or business-like emails seem fine to me when our R has been good or improving. When it is avoidant or seemingly non-existent, those emails really get my back up. Just realized this pattern as I am typing this. Interesting.
I know others have had good communications via email-- like Azure, for example.
Not sure what kind of response it will get right now, but in the past he has understood what I was trying to say. 
