Thank you all-- Azure, H2H, Sun, Betsey, KAW-- for the great audience participation in my little magic show!
Wonder, International Girl of Mystery, is getting back to basics, KAW. You're right about that.
Quote: is it really a big change for him or just a matter of timing. It seems he may have realized he's a little overdue in giving back some positive feedback to you.
It is timing, KAW. Thanks for pointing it out. I would have been fine with all this a few months ago. After delivery of "The Papers", maybe the fact that there isn't a change is what is hard to deal with? Feels like being an object-- an accessory-- instead of a person.
Quote: maybe your uneasiness is linked to trying to read into "why" the change and having to address expectations around his reasons? If there is improvement in his interactions with you ... GREAT! ... accept them at face value and don't read anything more into them ... they simply may not have any deeper meaning.
Now, this is the male perspective, no? Because everything has deeper meaning if you're a woman. (kidding here, sort of!) The crazymaking business about why is valid on some levels... yup, I am asking why. And maybe that does not help. Except that I really do want to know why... because I don't trust this change. Previously, it was welcome because I could sense where it was headed. OK, mystery girl likes to drive the car and she is working on this.
Now it just feels fake and hollow, like an attempt to ply my favor to get something. And that could well be the furthest thing from the truth, but who knows? I think this is the loss of credibility... and yet I want so much to believe in something.
Either way, I'm pretty solid on the fact that this is about me and how I feel.
Quote: I think the amount of time that has passed from the beginning until now is taking its toll on me. And while I haven't ruled anything out or in, I'm no longer pretending that they are not valid concerns or observations.
This is how I feel, Betsey. Guess my internal struggle is peeking out through the clothes now. Huh. Looks like I succeeded in not being so hidden.
Quote: God forbid the day I start actually contemplating having sex again? While the thought sort of terrifies me, it's also exciting as hell. If it's in the water, well so be it. We've all been working so hard for something worthwhile that we've put some very important issues on a back burner.
You said it! I've tried not to put this issue on the back burner (lest I go mad) and H and I have been intermittently intimate. But in the interim, I've been finding safe and creative outlets for that energy... I figure this will pay off in the end. For me anyway.
