A little addendum here: I was doing my banking today and I noticed that this month, H transferred money for his insurance exactly the way we'd originally discussed-- in 2 payments well before month's end.
In fact, the first one was transferred on the same day we emailed regarding the truck. The other was today. I was really very pleasantly surprised by this, and yes, I did acknowledge it via email.
In fact, I am feeling on the whole very positive and good and non-reactive about where I'm at emotionally these days-- and like I've really shed some fears I've had. So I said a few things.
I included something R-related that I'd just read that I believe he will relate to. No motive here, just read it and it hit me that this could be him, so I wanted him to see it. I thought it over first-- I was very comfortable with my intentions and realized I had no attachment to him having any reaction to it. This surprised me a little.
And... I mentioned I'd been away in Mexico (thus not seeing the transfer till now). I asked how the settlement papers were coming.
There have been times when I would have just written emails without thinking-- sort of what Azure was saying on her thread about being honest without calming down first-- and times when I've been afraid to bring things up even when I have been thinking about them. I think I have finally found the good place-- and it isn't about him.
I think the PMA Queen calls this detachment. Or maybe it's the work I am doing on my own goal setting and boundaries. But it feels very good and healthy. It feels like bubble baths and dancing around the house. Like a tough but rewarding yoga workout.
That's why I'm posting this-- it's more about where I am at than the fact that H decided to respect a boundary he'd been infringing on and act responsible about something he'd been irresponsible about-- but of course, those are positive actions on his part, too.
My eyes are open and I am moving ahead with my life.
