Quote: I think XH is nervous because he cancelled plans we made for friday and I made other plans in no time.
Good girl Halo, thats EXACTLY what you do in that instance, shows your independence rather than neediness. Your XH cancels, no problem, plenty of other things to do besides sit around and wonder whats up with him. WELL DONE.
Quote: I'm sorry but I'm not the type of person to just sit around and sulk because uncontrollable things come up.
No, you sure aren't.. And thats a good thing for your sitch because you are building RESPECT for yourself and your R, when you have the uncanny ability to IMMEDIATELY step outside/away from the sitch and simply DO YOUR OWN THING when you are not being TREATED the way you are TREATING, your XH pulls away, or the ball doesn't bounce your way all the time..
Quote: This is a plus but why does he show me the attention I want and deserve the most when I go dark and make him wonder.
Good question. To be honest, that is EXACTLY what most WAs probably say to themselves when they threaten to leave their Ms when they are not happy, and SURE ENOUGH the LBS makes more changes than a chameleon to get them back. Its the age old.."where was all this when I WAS committed?". You have shown your XH that allthough you PREFER the two of you live happily ever after, you are strong enough to move on if thats not in the cards. And its that loving you give him when things are good, tempered with the ability you have to not SETTLE when he vascillates too much, that inevitably draws him back to you. When it comes to Rs, we are all attracted to the challenge of someone who will cut us loose in a heartbeat, that just the way HUMAN BEHAVIOUR works, I majored in it, and I have case-studied it for HOURS and HOURS more during the demise of my own M.
Again, your XH talks a big game and he is showing signs of FUTURE committment. In accordance with you going a little dark when he insists on LIVING single but talking couple.., I would probably not get too excited when he talks about moving into a new apt, having kids etc. I would LISTEN, cheerily, say how "interesting that all sounds, but not give him the indication that you are QUITE as COMMITTED with him on that as much as a short time ago.." Thats how you maintain the leverage until he finally WALKS the TALK so to speak.
And thats a good thing for your sitch because you are building RESPECT for yourself and your R, when you have the uncanny ability to IMMEDIATELY step outside/away from the sitch and simply DO YOUR OWN THING when you are not being TREATED the way you are TREATING, your XH pulls away, or the ball doesn't bounce your way all the time.. 
