I agree that D is worde than death. I have been the LBS twice and they both left me for married OM. If they had died I could realize it was final and moved on but since she is still around I still have hope. As long as we hold on to the hope we will feel the pain. so it gets drug out for a much longer time.
If we do let go of the hope and meet someone else then the X may want to come back and then we have to decide if we really want them back maybe go through the pain again if they are not happy.
