Thanks nikatnight and Aeryn for your response.
nikatnight, I think you really have something with the testing the waters thing. Xh is just as scared as I am about being hurt. And ya'll are both right about no pressure, thats pretty much where I am now.
Xh and I have been together for right at 12 years so we do have a lot of history together: which has its disadvantages along with the advantages. It will take time and patience for Xh to see that I am not going to revert back to the me he remembers at the end of our M.
Time and patience those words come up a lot in D'bing dont they? LOL Well, I have a lot of time and everyday I am gaining more patience so I believe I can hang in there. Thank goodness.

On a brighter note...
Xh and I had a wonderful conversation last night on the phone. We are getting closer than every before, Xh initiated R talk .

Halo Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.