Ellie, that is great to know! Thanks for the reinforcement. I tried my dad's when we were on a flight together, I think they are amazing. I told H about it at the time and he didn't show much interest then, but I am convinced that he will love them. Sun, thank you so much...and your theory intrigues me.
I wanted to paste this in from LittleBill on GBO's thread for me to think aobut:
Quote: We, and our SOs, are entitled to be unhappy or even angry about certain things that occur. It seems that a much healthier approach is to recognize and validate these feelings of unhappiness and anger, rather than constantly trying to avoid them, and so long as they do not manifest themselves in inappropriate ways (verbal or physical abuse, criticism, disrespectful comments). I’m not the first to say this, but there really are no such thing as “bad” feelings. Where I think we often run into trouble is when we try to prevent, minimize, or discount feelings of unhappiness or anger in the hopes that by “avoiding” these feelings they will just “go away.”
If anyone is interested, these thoughts are illustrated quite well by Gottman in his book “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.” Even though it is directed toward a parent teaching a child, I certainly considered myself to be a “child” from an emotional intelligence prospective prior to this whole period of “awakening” I have been prodded into by my current situation.
Sorry to have been offline this last week. Azure, your h is phoning you, this is a good sign. Perhaps he is in a place right now where he is limiting his contact with many people. You HAVE the history and the connection with family for him. When he is ready, he will make contact. In the meantime, I want to encourage you to continue to take good care of yourself. Don't be alone too much. I'm glad you met with GBO.
I know that you were feeling uncertain about contacting his family. Have you sent a note to them?
Maya! Good to see you. I was wondering where you were.
No, I haven't sent a note yet to his family, I will be calling his mom, I wanted to give them a few days. I am sending a card to H tomorrow morning. My head feels very cloudy and confused today, I guess I'm a bit depressed, but trying not to give in to it, because it won't help.
