BIG (((((HUGS))))) to you on your anniversary! I am sure he remembered even if he didn't recognize it with you in someway.
My 10 year anniversary would have been on Sept 17. I am alrady making plans for a day at the spa...........
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Quote: "Finding Your Own North Star" by Martha Beck
I enjoyed this book too. I read it while recovering from my accident a (long) while back. I also liked Cheryl Richardson's book-- particularly Stand Up for Your Life, which deals with identifying our values and boundaries.
The one you're reading now sounds pretty interesting, Azure.
Quote: And I must admit, that I read & read, and though I know it's not out there, deep, deep inside I sometimes feel I am still searching for that 'magic answer' to solve my sitch. No whacks, I am not searching for that magic answer and I know better than that, but just sometimes the little girl in me wishes I had a pair of those ruby slippers from Dorothy and I could go "home" w/ my man....
Won't get whacks from me. I think many of us have been there, H2H... but think how much we are learning from all this reading and experiencing and conversation. That's a little silver lining.
Hoping your well today, Azure. Sun has a good idea there about the spa! wonder
Thank you so much for the anniversary thoughts and hugs. WTSMM – I’m with you, my dear – not fun, I hope you did ok with it. I muddled through the day, mostly by ignoring it while at work. Then after work I went to my hip hop class (hard b/c I seem to have so many aches and pains this week) and then to my nice neighbors who had some friends over for wine and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I love these neighbors and their friends, even though they are – yikes! – nearly 20 years younger than me. They are so genuine and friendly, and the woman of the couple who was over last night was hysterically funny. She should be a comedian. So it was fun, and QE was great.
NSN, I am taking the dog to the vet today. The vet thinks perhaps there is now some nerve involvement with her arthritis, and that is why she is dragging her leg and walking on the top of her foot. We’ll see what she says today. (My vet has such a calm presence, I find myself always having the urge to tell her all my problems!) I, too, love my dog so much. She has been with me through everything…
H2H:
Quote: But I must admit that I am getting to the stage where I think I need to back off from all the reading, and actually DO some things, some changes, make some decisions.... Though I really enjoy all the reading, and each book offers up some real gems - I'm getting to the stage where I've got a pocketful of gems and finding it hard to put them together into a beautiful necklace that shines in my everyday life.
Beautifully said, H2H, and point well taken. Book club talk: I’m so glad you enjoyed the Martha Beck book. It’s the kind of book I wish I had written. And isn’t she funny? I laughed out loud at several of her passages or asides. Yes, re Shortcut Through Therapy, that’s why I wanted to talk about it with someone. My aunt has read it too, and we’ve talked about how the message can seem too simplistic and hard to absorb – it’s almost like I’d like to argue with him over some of it – and yet some of these simple ideas I have found to be pretty profound, and I do find that I keep turning to it. Just for the insight that I am making myself crazy or depressed sometimes is worthwhile. I am SO the kind of person that tries to THINK my way out of depression or other emotions, and just end up digging myself into a deeper rut. I thought this meant I was ‘deep,’ but he did illuminate ways in which that does me more harm than good.
Good point on the too-MUCH-reading thing – I have had that same thought about myself (although I must finish this latest book!) I’m kind of a compulsive reader, it was my escape when I was a child and became so embedded in my life. When I was working my way through The Artist’s Way 10 years ago, one of the exercises was to go on a “reading fast” for a week. WOW, was that hard! But I had the thought the other night that I should do that again. Then I would probably get more stuff done, including creative stuff. And jeez - I think a reading fast would include not reading the BB. That would be hard!
OK, Sun, Wonder, Rae Jean, let’s hit that spa! It can be preparatory to our South of France tour!
Azure, I don't know how I missed that it was your anniversary yesterday, yikes! Sorry for missing it. I've got to be more focused, somehow. I feel like I am not being a good friend sometimes. Oh well.
Your day yesterday sounded like a nice busy one. I'm glad that you were able to stay busy, and keep yourself from thinking about the sitch. When is H back? It seems to me, like he has been gone a while. I'm sure it is worse for you. Hey! How's that friend that you've been emailing? (the MAN) Any news there yet?
I think that I am ready to hit that spa. Being with friends would be so wonderful. What I really need is a good vacation, though. One by myself. I just want to get away from my life for a while. That is not the answer in facing things is it? But it sure would be nice.
Keep up your PMA. You are sounding like you are handling things well. Are you hiding something, or are you being honest with us? I hope that you are being honest, because it is great to see you like this. Have a great day, and keep up on the old PMA. Hugs to you, Rae Jean BTW, I've locked up, so my new thread is, Is the game over, part 2.
Yes, I too muddled through the day and counted down until it was over - S13 and I did enjoy a steak and lobster tail (the smallest tails I have ever seen!) dinner here at home - S13 was so sweet - he knew I was hurting - I did see H yesterday when he dropped off S13 - please take a look at my thread - some interesting info and I would like your opinion. We are so lucky to have this BB - I have "met" some wonderful people here - it is incredible that even though we are all in our own private hell that we are still able to care for others which just goes to show that we are indeed special people. You are in my thoughts. XO, WTSMM
Rae Jean, You're ALWAYS a friend, don't you be doubting it. I know you're always there for me, and know that I am for you.
PS I told my counselor last night that I thought I didn't really need to see her much longer, maybe one or two more times and then hopefully be able to if any other issues came up. She took it really well and was fine with it. For some reason I was afraid she'd freak out and say, "No, I think you have a lot more issues." Instead she said, "I'd be happy to see you at any time in the future." I felt good about that. She seemed to feel that I was pretty balanced now, and also would be cognizant of certain kinds of relationship dynamics to watch out for in the future.
Still no word from H, I don't know how long he is away for. Maybe a week? I think he left last Saturday. It's strange not being in touch with him, but maybe good for me to take a break. I hope he is ok, though. Although I'm not sure how one can really be ok in such a situation...
Oh, and got another nice email from the musician guy. And a guy in my office just came and told me about an active outdoors group for singles that sounds interesting. Trying to open some doors here...
OK, I'm having a hard day today. My dog is experiencing a degeneration of the spine, which is compressing nerves and causing her to lose sensation in her hind legs (hence the foot dragging, and walking on the top of her foot). I almost feel like I just can't bear another thing. And if there was ever something I would want to run crying to H about, it's that. She is like my child. UGH. WTF! Can I just catch a frigging break, here? Deep breath. OK, we're going to try her on a short course of steroids to see if the nerve pressure might be caused by temporary inflammation. But the x-ray didn't look too good. **** I'll be fine, it's just one of those days where you feel like you've gotten the last straw. Need to regroup again. Plus I feel all achey myself -- sympathy aches? I ready and waiting for some EXTRAORDINARILY good times to make up for this year. Bring it on!
