LNL, Seattle,
Thanks so much. This issue of shame seems to have spoken to a lot of people. It will be interesting to discuss how guilt, fear and shame impact us. At least I would like to talk about it more, LNL. I was only even able to notice what a strong hold it on me from reading this book, "Fear and Other Uninvited Guests." How, as you said, Seattle, when we're in that space, it is so hard not responding out of reactivity. That has been one of the hardest lessons for me. In the past, I generally thought it was best to respond out of my “pure” emotions, that that was more honest, now I have come to see the value of waiting til I’m in a better space, which as just as honest but less likely to provoke the other person or lead me into craziness. This helps in the rest of life, too.
Here was my response to H. Haven't heard anything back so far. We probably both need to sit with the latest exchange and de-intensify.
Quote: Hi H,
Whew! Thank you for not getting defensive or mean. I was kind of girding myself for a tough reaction. I know these kind of things are hard to talk about. I thought your response was honest, and I appreciated the apology along with the understanding of what a shock it was from this end. Of course it is extremely hard on the ego level to hear that someone just wasn't happy with you, but luckily we are not all ego, but much more: soul and spirit as well.
Azure
