I hope you guys don't mind if I park here for a while. After 10 months of DBing, H (STBX?) and I seem to be piecing something together, not exactly sure that it's our our M, but at least some kind of relationship/friendship. So the idea of piecing seems to match the spirit of what I'm doing, and I feel a bit funny about staying in newcomers. We've had a lot of honest talks, spent time together, and given each other emotional support, gone to a concert, discussed books. He was particularly helpful when my dad died six weeks ago, after battling cancer for a year. He flew across the country to come to my dad's memorial service, risking the dark looks of some of my family and friends, and held my hand throughout the service. (We also ML at his hotel, although he said that was a "one time thing.)
Brief recap: Me: 44 H: 41 Married two years, together five years. H seemed to be really happy, although there were a lot of outside stresses (my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, H's brother becomes homeless and an addict, H's promotion at work, new very pricey mortgage, etc) then dropped the bomb last August. Had an OW that he thought was THE ONE. She turned out to be very troubled, an alcoholic (how did I know that was coming? ), now is "seeing someone."
H wrote this yesterday (after I went out on a limb with some R talk, figured it was ok after all this time of DBing, and needed to break through to something :
Quote: Hi Azure,
I understand what you're saying and can't even begin to defend my noncommunication. If nothing else, I hope you realize that I continue to harbor such guilt because I know I wronged you and hit you with such a shocking blow. You're right. I was wrong.
The best I can do at this point is beg for your forgiveness some day and make sure not do the same thing to anyone else in the future.
I remember you got really, really angry when I tried to suggest that I just wasn't happy in the relationship. You were insulted and wouldn't accept that as an explanation, but it was true then and still true today. Maybe I owe you a deeper explanation, but at a gut level that was what I was feeling and for whatever stupid reason I couldn't explain much more than that without you goading me into saying mean and hurtful things about you that didn't really strike at my discontent.
What makes this all the more difficult is that I truly like and respect you, and want to stay friends. You are someone who I always want to have in my life in some fashion, but if you need to stay away from me for a while to maintain your sanity, or because you just plain hate me now, I'll have to accept that.
Anyway, I hope this is helpful in some twisted way.
), now is "seeing someone." 
