I understand your frustrations and I'm glad to hear that you are doing things for you that help you to feel good about yourself. The rest I have no solutions to offer as I often find myself in the same predicament.
I only have questions...
when you are feeling frustrated as a result of his lack of desire what do you do? how do you act toward him? Is the running joke or comments to him about his lack of desire working for you or against you? If his "bad back" is a problem why not suggest letting him lie down?
