Quote: Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- H then said I told you I’m still going back and forth and I’ll keep going back and forth until one of you gets sick of it. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote: I think that says it all. Your H is admitting he gets his cake and eats it too. Have you read the book by James Dobson, "Love Must Be Tough?"
I agree with nikatnight, it's time for some "tough love". If you haven't read this book......try it. It just may help you with a different approach for your H.....with some different results.
You and your H have been dancing to the same tune for quite some time now. (I've been following your posts for awhile). I love to read about saved marriages and kept following in hopes that yours will be one.
I feel for you Cathy, your H doesn't sound like an easy individual to live with, MCL or not! It seems as if you're always on eggshells when he's around, always careful not to "upset the applecart". That's no way to live.
I have been where you are about the "competing" thing with an OW too. I DB'd my butt off, I validated, listend and used every ounce of patience I had. Then enough became enough for me. My self-respect finally had enough and I told my H that if I wanted competition, I would join a beauty pageant! I made the decision for him. He was free to have his OW, I was stepping out of the picture, he wasn't having his cake and eating it too at my table any longer! I made the decision to just let go of the marriage.
We made it to one mediation session to start our divorce proceedings and within 24 hours of the session, my H wanted to save our marriage. He was now the one begging and pleading! We've been back together now for 1 1/2 years.
I'm not saying that your "tough love" approach will yield the same results, but you will at least have saved some dignity.
This is just my 2 cents, take it for what you will.
Good luck to you Cathy! You have a TREMENDOUS amount of will and patience and I give you tons of credit. I believe you are an angel in disguise
