When I wrote that I know what I need to do now, I meant that I need to continue on my path, my walk with the Lord, becoming more spiritual. Another door has been opened to me, I’m being allowed to see things that I didn’t see before without all the emotions this time. I've been revisiting the last year, feflecting, looking at things H did/said and seeing them differently now.
Saturday night H took off north to fish and I didn’t talk to him until this morning. Had S4 leave him a message Sunday night that we were going to local fireworks show and that we missed him. Other than that no contact from H.
Big fireworks show for our area was scheduled for Saturday but was rained out, rescheduled for last night. Since I’m on vacation this week took S to that show with my sis and her family. It was fabulous, I must admit I did miss H a bit. Seeing mostly families and it being just S and I. Just to be able to see the excitement of S and his face was worth the hassle of traffic jams afterwards.
When we got home which was late, H was asleep and I didn’t wake him.
Woke up this morning, took a shower and was drying my hair when H called. We talked a bit, H asked what prompted me to take son to fireworks and said I didn’t have to work today. H said you’re off, I said I’m on vacation all week. H said I never told him. I told him awhile back and the two days when H was at OW’s H ASKED me if was still taking vacation that week which I affirmed. I reminded H of that and he said he didn’t remember. I think those two days are lost in H’s memory, I really don’t think he remembers a lot of our conversations during that time.
Hung up H called back again asked me if I knew of someplace he could have his truck looked at, it’s leaking oil or transmission fluid which it’s been doing since Friday. I said I could talk to my brother and get it in there. H said well we’ll be short a vehicle are you going to take me to work and pick me up? I said we’ll work something out, I can borrow a vehicle from on of my family members. Hung up again.
H calls back for the third time, wants my brother’s number and I gave it to him. Said he was going to call there and I said ask brother if you can just trade vehicles, he can pick your truck up and take it to work with him and you can drive his truck. H said he didn’t feel comfortable asking my B.
At that point S got up and H wanted to talk to S. H was asking S if he wanted to play tonight, baseball. So I grabbed the other phone and called my brother about getting the truck in and trading vehicles and B said that would be fine, he could pick up H’s truck tonight.
So I get back on with H and tell him the plan and H said “thank you” and then we hung up. (positive) This is the same man who had truck problems two weeks ago and “blamed” me for not calling him to help him out. Spent two days at OW’s and from what I’m seeing/hearing now doesn’t recall much of it.
H’s other boat is sitting on OW’s lawn. H has had a number of calls this weekend and thinks he’ll be able to sell it quickly as he’s had a number of offers already. A few people are looking at it right after work which means he'll be at OW's, but he did tell S he would be home to play with him and since H hasn't seen him for a few days I think he'll be here.
I am being shown that H is using OW, she is letting H use her in the hopes of getting H to come back to her. OW is using H in the hopes of ending her pain, so that she won’t have to hit her rock bottom and deal with the loss of her H two years ago and deal with the fact that she got involved with another woman’s husband. She will and is doing anything to get him back and H will take what she has to offer when it suits his needs. H can’t have both of us, at some point he’s going to have decide and break it off with her completely.
I’m in the process of painting S’s room, have to tape it off and go get some supplies. Another change in the house. I want to eventually give it a whole new look, make it a place where H feels comfortable, feels at home. I started this last summer and then there was a long pause and now I’m back on track.
Hi Minnie! Painting should take today and tomorrow along with just doing things around the house and shopping. Thursay a friend and I are golfing, having a little outing. Friday take S to visit H's jobsite. I'm really just relaxing, maybe se a movie at some point.
