As I read the last few posts on your thread, it was like deja vous! You are still caught up in the whirlwind of your H's drama and the saddest part is, while you're being a martyr hanging onto your M with dear life, your H is living HIS life hour to hour, day to day, indulging in whatever self gratifying activity makes him feel good at everyone else’s expense.
FEAR is a cancer of the heart and soul. It's an insidious disease that claims your life, your happiness, your self respect and your child's sense of security little by little, day after day.
Your H's antics have NOT changed one iota, in fact, it sounds as if he's become more brazen, more narcissistic and more psychotic as the months have passed.
Give yourself the gift of hope and love, NOT for the rest of his life, but for the REST of yours.
It’s terribly hard to make the decision to make a REAL change and IMHO, the only real change left for you to make, is to show him the door, because the sad truth is, you can’t love an unlovable man, no matter how badly you want to remain Mrs. ******, It’s not worth it to you, and it’s damn sure not healthy for your son.
It's true, I'm NOT a Christian, but we have the same God none the less, and I don't think your faith demands that you be a martyr, or help mate to an emotionally abusive adulterer any more than my faith does.
Hugs to you Cathy and I swear I PRAY that you will find the strength to make a NEW and richer, happier life for yourself and you precious son.
T2
