He is not moving out today, he never was. I have to remember when he says stuff like that, that he's spewing. In the back of my mind I knew this, but seemed I got sucked into the drama and feeling sorry for myself by believing him and making it true in my mind.
A few months ago H told me he was going to move out, actually he says this all the time, but this time he did tell me that "he would need to talk to OW first" which means he's not moving out to be with her, he's moving out period. H is thinking out loud, venting, spewing--an outswing perhaps trying to make himself feel better about his behaviour. IF he's moving out then in his mind it justifies the visits to OW. He also told me "I don't know where that relationship is going" which to me means he's not moving out to be OW either. H also said "I THINK I can be happy there" as part of the conversation.
Just how to keep this perspective when H pulls an allnighter.
And with H calling the other night from OW's I did wish that instead of just not showing H would let me know where he was..well look what happened. Be careful what you wish for.
I need to get back to the basics, get back to what I want/need in my life. Get centered again.
Tomorrow I'm at a golf outing all day. I'm taking the foursome shots which include our guest for the outing, a progolfer. I will be stationed on a hole with him all day and taking photos. This is something I wouldn't have been able to do a few years ago, it's a huge step out of my box, one I chose to do for ME.
Today H is fishing all day, he's in a fishing tournament the second weekend in July so he needs to "fish around" on the lake to find the hot spots. So I have the day to myself.
Quote: Does your mood help or hurt your situation?
Good question, it's NOT the best for the R that's for sure. I worked really hard to NOT let it affect it yesterday, didn't really talk to H a whole lot, minimal, yet our interactions were all good. He animatedly told me about a fishing pole floating in the the lake yesterday morning that he pulled into his boat and it had a fish on it to boot!!
Yesterday after the craft fair I DID NOT want to come home, I had my Power of Praying Woman with me so ducked into a park new our home and sat there until I could get myself grounded again. I just couldn't come here and H didn't call me once to see where I was yesterday, when I was going to be home, blah, left me alone.
