Is the point where you give up and say enough is enough? I'm questioning my sanity today.

H calls this morning bright and early, asks for me by name? WHAT THE! I answered the phone!! I don't even ask how he is just "what's up" H wanted to know how my day is going so far? Well considering I had just gotten up my day had barely begun. His isn't going very well, his truck broke down on the way to work. Hehehehehehe...the Lord is good. H wasn't even all pissed off and mad about it, which is strange. We talked about the storm last night, he had just spoke with his brother from his home town and wanted to be sure his parents were okay. Well the storm went through last night, not this morning, and H is JUST calling his brother to see how things are up there? I then told H I talked to S20 and that he was okay, also. H didn't even think to call S20 to see if he was okay.

I suppose he had his fix last night and now he's back in sync or feels balanced again, I just don't get it and it's not for me to get either, just have patience.

Why does he call me immediately after a night with OW and then he's happy again?

I know, I know I shouldn't question or wonder, but the whole thing last night with him calling, the flat emotionless voice and then this morning the real H is back? Who is the real H these days anyways?

Remember the show to tell the truth? I think I'm the contestant and there are three guys who claim to be my H.

Oh, but I don't have an H right now do I? This guy is my friend and I should have no other expectations of this friend of mine. Actually the way I feel about H these days is that he's my teenage son and that this boy/man has to figure his life out for himself.

I'm on a vent this morning. This man is the most selfish person I know right now, he doesn't even thank me for the things I do for him, his laundry, his dinners, his food, anything at all. If he needs something than I'm his servant. Mom/Cathy do this/do that..why's that dishrag on the table? Why's this here, you know you left that there..but can he pick anything up no, has to point the things out so that I can do them for him as he sitting on the couch with his remote in hand!!!

ARGGHHH! This morning driving into work I WAS blasting H in my head. I could really tell him a few things right now! The nerve, the gall, the insanity of this whole thing.

Then I was thinking about everybody else here and how my pity party was just with me. How everyone here is struggling just as much as I am and that this world is full of problems worse than the one I'm in. Satan is really pushing hard and DA** SATAN to HE!!

Cathy (I am insane aren't I?) I mean I could just spit fire right about now.