I hope you don't mind that I refer to you that way. I have a cyber friend P and this is how I refer to her. Her H and my H go way back and P's H is similar to my H. IN FACT, P's H purchased a Harley and they were picking the Harley up yesterday..these men!! My friend P isn't all that excited, worried he's going to be giving OW rides when she's not around. Her H is very much in MLC..woman, drinking, some drugs and porn...yup it's an epidemic.
H did buy the bass boat, it's a nice looking boat, red and white Ranger. Showed up here right after I was on the BB last night. He was smiling ear to ear! I must admit he was thinking when he bought it, he was able to buy it for what the guy still had in the loan and when he does sell it will be able to get what he paid for it if not more. The guy he bought it from only used once or twice, selling it becuase he doesn't use it and bought it becuase of a girl in the first place H took out the loan in his own name, I asked him when he showed up here. So IT'S H's bass boat.
Quote: I realize now , today, that it isn't that I don't like to shop. I am just afraid to give myself permission to spend money on me. I have no problem buying for the kids or H.
We are related then I do think long and hard before making major purchases and don't let H know either. When I let him in on whatever it is, we end up paying MORE than I would have on my own. It's not really that I CAN afford it, but I'm tired of not buying or thinking of ME. I'm more frugal and do keep an eye on my finances and what I need/don't really need. Once I'm at my personal limit, I then go into idle and get caught up again.
My H's job is based on construction and thankfully he has been steadily employed since I met him--12 years ago yesterday! And I actually met him while he was working next to the office I worked in. A friend of his on the job stopped me one morning and asked if I wanted to the meet the guy in the crane? Thought about it most of the day and thought why not, I know where he works if he tries anything. Okay I was a little paranoid.
Anyway, H has been layed off here and there. Can't stand the company he works for, but they do keep him working. I think he's finally realizing this, at least I hope he does. H has job and a good paying one at that. It's more than a lot of people have. But, I guit preaching to H long ago and just agree with whatever it is he's unhappy about and let him vent...seems to work. My H is great at his job and is well respected by all his co-workers. Well as far as his ability to run a crane.
There is no way I'm going to control his spending at this point, it's something he's going to have to do on his own. H is still searching for his happiness in things rather than just being, so he has to do this. I think the bassboat vs. divorce or the bassboat or D..the bassboat right now is the better pick.
I have to relax about the $$ thing and not get on H at all about it. We're still not totally stable in this R, there's still MLC, there's still lots of work to be done on both of our parts. I have to believe that if $$ become a problem it will be at the point when H comes to realize that there are more important things in life than "things" I know he doesn't like being in debt, but feels like he can't control it. So time will tell.
H took out the loan in his own name, I asked him when he showed up here. So IT'S H's bass boat.
I do think long and hard before making major purchases and don't let H know either. When I let him in on whatever it is, we end up paying MORE than I would have on my own. It's not really that I CAN afford it, but I'm tired of not buying or thinking of ME. I'm more frugal and do keep an eye on my finances and what I need/don't really need. Once I'm at my personal limit, I then go into idle and get caught up again. 
