Deb, What're you trying to do, make me propose again??
Seriously you are doing everything right. I can't believe the amount of strength that I see coming from the people on these boards--it is just so inspiring!
OW really sounds like a headcase. I think he is depressed and mourning her but he is under no more delusions about who he wants. YOU are indeed the prize and he knows this. Now he just has to deal with the guilt of dragging another person into his (then) unhappy marriage, as well as for what he has done to you. That would make me cry in the middle of the night too.
Hi Dawn! yep, you're right, pride is a big issue w/my H, so that is a really good point, one that's important for me to keep in mind....H REALLY needs to see himself as the strong, good one.......the one who can "take it".....I've actually heard him say exactly that before. ok, big big thing to keep in mind here!
Hi Honeypot! you always make me laugh!!!!! yep, I am a red hot prize, and frankly H better break down pretty soon or I'm also going to have a blazing red neck! LOL!!!! Guess I'll have to wear a turtleneck so he won't know it's time to hide from me!!!!! yeah, I see OW as a real head case, always did, even when I was buying his line about htem being "just friends" (urp!!!).....I remember when he hauled my sewing table down to her last summer, and I told him either he could go get it or I would, that somebody needed to set some limits w/this woman and if he couldnt do it I sure could (how's that for bad dbing?).....that she was way over focused on him and he was way to caught up in her "needs".....well, that made him mad, and he pouted around, but he went and got my table back, had no hesitation mentioning to me what a "scene" I caused by making him get it back..........oh well, it's probably good for all concerned that I didn't know then what I know now. I swear I think the woman has a big time personality disorder, and H should be able to recognize it, but then either he doesnt or cant admit it. Weird. I can only hope you're right that I'm the prize he wants and he's finally figured it out.
hmmmmm, I'm still thinking Dawn. I'm thinking that my H would only turn to someone as a "port in a storm" when the storm reached such a fury that it caused a huge amount of emotional pain....which means she needs to keep building up! hmmmmmmm.....I guess I need to drop the rope so that things have a chance to build to the breaking point between them. I swear, they have had more and bigger fights and nastier ones in the 8 months since I found out about the A than we've had in 25 years of marriage. I don't know if that 's good or bad.....except that H hates conflict, so maybe it's good, very good in fact....
I still havent figured out how everybody gets the neat little title links to their threads. I guess my messy ones work though, so I'll go with what works (where've I heard that before?)
