Hi Dawn, thanks! more good stuff I hadnt thought of....separating the MLC from OW stuff...yes, I think that would help and they are both affecting him mightily right now I believe. H is so much like a teen ager in so many ways.....maybe I need to think of him that way some!
Quote: What would make you seek someone out as a port in the storm?
This is powerful and helpful....... I would look for someone who is: cheerful, warm, fun, "safe", in that I could trust they would let me blow off steam and just "be there", someone who wouldnt be throwing all my transgressions at me, and frankly soemone I could depend on for physical affection and to "take up the slack" when I needed some down time......hmmmmmmmm....the more I think about this the more interesting it is....it also helps me see what I need to do, and it's encouraging because frankly I think I'm doing it for the most part, and doing it pretty well (99.9% of my whining happens here, and not with H)......and I think this is a big change in me in the last 6 or 8 months. In years past, I have to admit I wasnt all that great at being a port in the storm. Hmmmmmmmm......and he used to see OW that way, I'm sure.....so this role reversal is a big thing, and interesting from many angles, isn't it? Thank you for the huge insights.
The funny mewling sounds at night are something.....I don't know if he is awake or not, but I get the impression that they are a reflection of some sort of emotional pain; I know that at least once they were actually sobs. I've never heard this before the last 3 or 4 months in all the years we've been together. I generally pat his hand or shoulder or give him a squeeze or hug, and he seems to calm down....I never know whether he wakes up or not....doesnt respond, just seems to become calmer.....weird. sigh, yep, the things we do for love..........
