I'm kind of struggling with PMA today.....H seems so distant again, seems to have pulled way back. I can't help but think it has to do with getting back here to work w/OW around. I'm really struggling to keep my hands off the rope and my foot off of his rear end. Things were going so well, in spite of the "same cabin" crap, while we were off work. Even H said it was almost like a 2nd honeymoon......I don't know, maybe the closeness scared him off....
I'm really tired today, maybe that is part of it also....
H is also upset because he found out that his coworker (male) in out-of-town office, whom he really likes, is probably going to take another job, and this really upset H....the thought of losing this close co-worker is really disheartening to him. Plus the paper work load increased dramatically while we were gone, which was overwehlming to H before, plus I'm sure OW crap has kicked back in....

anyway, when H got home after his 12 hour day last night, I told him "hi" and that I had smooches and hugs for him.....H said he didnt even know if he wanted them after the day at work....went for a 2hr walk, which often cheers him up but didnt, we talked about the possiblities of moving out of state and H said how scary that would be, but I guess even talking was a positive....When we went to bed, I asked H if he would like me to snuggle him, and he said "sure", I suggested other things and he just flat out said "no" ; this morning we were rushed and H was distant, did bring me coffee, I said how much I'm missing getting to spend time with him, and he said "we're back in the real world, this is how it is".....did give me a few quick hugs, but I sense that he's more distant emotionally.

This is really hard for me to deal with. I read a post on someones thread in which a person who's been on the boards for several years siad they've seen this a lot in sitch's that work out.....but I sure feel at the bottom of the dip on the roller coaster right now. Can anyone elaborate on your experience and/or observations regarding this? Is it really typical, this swinging between hot/cold, close/distant, OW/W........how long does it tend to go on? what are signs that it might be going to end (if there are any).....I don't know, I'm just really struggling right now. I recognize at least that his moods having such an effect on me means that I have a lot more work to do........

I guess I need to try to think of some positives and post/journal them.

One is ....and I know everybody's sick of hearing about the damn thing, but I gotta whistle in the dark right now, H did put his ring on after he walked last night (says it gets tight enough to be uncomfortable when he walks for a long time).......of course he could be meeting her on these long walks, so that's why he's taking it off......there goes the crazymaker grabbing the rope again.....

been around awhile!