The situation with my in laws is sad. My MIL can laugh now as she kind of has the last laugh as she is still legally his wife and if he died before doing anything to rectify that california community property law would give her a share of OW's house and bank accts as she was stupid enough to put FIL on as joint owners. How sad is OW that she has stuck this out without any formal commitment. My MIL even jokes she would not let her attend funeral. It has become such a joke. You know regarding the work sit only two things can happen. He leaves and works elsewhere or he lays down the law with her. She cant force him to deal with her if he chooses not to. Either way there is nothing you can do but what you already are. Make home a happy happy non stress enviornment. You have reversed roles with her. She is now the one pressuring him and you are just happy Deb offering him peace and happiness. The guilt issue is tricky. He needs to understand that she got herself into this situation knowing what the possible outcome could be, he wasnt lying to her. She needs to accept the consequences, be an adult and walk away. He needs to understand that yes, he made bad choices but so did she and he does not need to spend the rest of his life feeling guilty for what he percieves he did to her or feel he has to make it better for her. She did this to herself. If she wanted a future she should have chose someone who was available, not someone who had a family. Sorry, I have no sympathy, Tough luck for her. Maybe, next time he seems down, suggest him going to talk to someone at your church. Maybe they can help him see that in order to move forward he needs to forgive himself and make his life with you and your family his priority. He owes no one else. I am leaving on Saturday morning for 12 days at Cape Hatteras, in North Carolina. We rented a beach house with my best friend and her H who got married last year. Being a California girl, the east coast fasinates me. I cant wait. My friend moved from Calif to Wash D. C. last year so havent seen her since the wedding. I need a break.
