deb, ahhhh so much stuff in your sitch i cant even focus on what i want to say (one of my many faults according to evil anti-M H )...anyway, my H was one of the "good ones" too. As in he thought this A would never happen to him, his dad did it and he is determined to be unlike his dad. so....I read that if you say it will never happen to me , you are the most succeptable. Which makes it even harder for your H to face his decisions of late and the repercussions. My H blamed me for 10 years of unhappiness, said all kinds of alien evil alien things like I didnt like him and didnt want to be with him didnt like his presents didnt want to see him in his triathelon races I mean everything under the sun~! crazy stuff and i would defend myself but really he was blaming me because he couldnt live with himself. I let it hurt me and convinced myself it was my fault (some of it was of course) but certainly not all that stuff. Steer away from the 10 bad years and why conversation- it reinforces his unhealthy A and life choices. H now says he was wrong and I think even in his state he listened to what I said if it was about him. Not me. I even sent him an email about ruining OW 's M and family and he kept it, now says I was right and feels really bad about it. Your H cant live w/o you- make sure he sees that in your attitude - be happy and dont get sucked into his misery. if you can. I read a good book, cheesy title, "I will never leave you" talks about As. Good stuff and helps you understand. Anyway, love reading about your journey...lol Shay
someone helped me with " you are a goddess" , and dont forget it!!
)...anyway, my H was one of the "good ones" too. As in he thought this A would never happen to him, his dad did it and he is determined to be unlike his dad. so....I read that if you say it will never happen to me , you are the most succeptable. Which makes it even harder for your H to face his decisions of late and the repercussions. My H blamed me for 10 years of unhappiness, said all kinds of alien evil alien things like I didnt like him and didnt want to be with him didnt like his presents didnt want to see him in his triathelon races I mean everything under the sun~! crazy stuff and i would defend myself but really he was blaming me because he couldnt live with himself. I let it hurt me and convinced myself it was my fault (some of it was of course) but certainly not all that stuff. Steer away from the 10 bad years and why conversation- it reinforces his unhealthy A and life choices. H now says he was wrong and I think even in his state he listened to what I said if it was about him. Not me. I even sent him an email about ruining OW 's M and family and he kept it, now says I was right and feels really bad about it.
