Hi all, I appreciate your input and support so much. I really feel like I would have alread lost this war if it werent for all of you here. I'm still working on keeping the crazymaker in her corner....this funeral thing is really bugging me, but I'm working hard to let it go and not say a word.....I keep asking myself if it will get me closer to my goal....answer is no, it will probably set me back aways because H will interpret it as "hawkeyeing" and get irritated....I ask myself what will happen, and come up with the answer that we will both get upset and the good, close feelings we've managed to develop on vacation will be chipped away at rather than a deposit being made to his "love bank". so, the thing to do it keep my mouth shut and let it go.....
Last night H was so tired after a 12 hour day his first day back at work, I would have liked some "nookie" but it didnt seem like the time to go after it, so I didnt, but darn I wanted to!
H did sit at the table and talk with me for an hour and 1/2 after he got home, seemed to enjoy it and really want to just "shot the breeze"....of course I enjoyed it....but I have to look at this as a positive. a year ago we would have never done this.
This morning H is talking again about looking for new jobs out of state, "somewhere with mountains".....he waffles so on the job stuff, but I believe he was being truthful when he said a month ago that he sees a job change as a way to put the distance he needs between him and OW....
Now that we are back to work, we are so busy, I'm very aware of how hard it is to find time to spend with each other and what a detrimental effect for us not finding that time has. H even commented this morning about "we're working and never able to see each other". Darn I miss getting to have that unstructured time with him.
