Hi Debra, thanks for your input. You are so wise, and I really admire your strength and appreciate you being so willing to share your experience. I hadn't thought of giving up our vacation spot adding to his guilt or of asking him what to do when I have doubts.
I'm convinced you're right though, about building new memories that will replace her...even in the time we were there, after the rough episode, we got past it and had a good time. We were just talking last week that we figure we've probably spent a good 8 months of our lives there, so the place already has a lot of history besides her.
I've been trying to just let all the stuff go that makes me so anxious, never even thought of asking him....duh....I'm thinking I'll look for an opportunity to do that (timing is everything!) It helps to know that other people react to these seemingly inconsequential things.
I keep thinking today about how great last week was at home without S....it was so nice, we goofed off, did some odd jobs, talked and laughed, took naps, ml, just had a great time. H has said also "it was a really good vacation" and that he enjoyed our time together. I truely believe this is a big part of where we "went wrong", not makeing time alone together enough of a priority. I sure won't make that mistake again when/if we get through this. I just cant believe that we won't get through this. maybe it's just denial or wishful thinking, but I really feel deep down that we will.
It still means a lot to me that he started wearing his ring again. It has to mean theres some reconnection going on! I guess that's why I have such a hard time not focusing on it. But, hey, I'm doing ok, I never say a word to him, just fret here on the bb sometimes.
