Hi Deb, I too have been keeping up on your situation. I am sorry that your H is where he is at and making it so hard for you. I agree with your comment about going back to square one and acting "as if". My H did this exact same thing to me...the waffling! We can make all of the threats in the world...unless we act upon them they will not do any good. You need to make sure that you are ready and DO enforce any more future threats or ultimatums you give him. My problem was that I could not do that. In the long beginning of our problems, I gave H threat after threat. Ultimatum after ultimatum. Nothing did any good, 'cause I didn't act on any of it. Primarily because I couldn't. I guess I wasn't ready to give it all up.
I think I mentioned in one of my earlier posts to you about how difficult it was to find a "balance" of acting "as if" and still trying to appear caring to H. IT IS VERY HARD. But I worked on it (for some time!) and I'm thinking it worked! At least going by my H's current attitude/actions. He has done a complete turn around. Of course you are the only one who can decide where you are "at" and what you are capable of doing at this point. But if you're not ready to really make H leave or leave yourself...then go ahead...start acting "as if"! Go a little bit dark! Make his head reel and wonder all of a sudden why your not so concerned about what he is doing with OW. I'm here to tell you that this worked for me! It will work within you too. You need to (for yourself and for H to see) start doing many things on your own and with many possible "new" friends. Don't be so anxious to share everything with him. You don't need to lie ... just don't feel that need to tell H everything.
