Yeah, finding those pictures really stinks. I am so sorry you saw them. And NO, I do not think that you were snooping at all. Perhaps boundry #1 should be that he remove all that crap from YOUR home. I don't see any reason for him to keep that stuff there.
Yes, I do think that you should go on vacation. It would mean a lot to your son and I think that it may do a world of good for you all to get away as a family.
I think, humbly, that the more you question your H and his motives...the more he questions himself. The more you waiver/waffle....the more he waivers and waffles. Does that make sense?
A suggestion...as you and H are going through this re-connecting process and R issues arise, try to bring up only ONE issue at a time. Discuss it for less than 5 minutes, try to bring some kind of end to the discussion, even if the "ending" is only to say that you will talk about it again sometime. It does bring you some feeling of accomplishment and you don't get all bound up in a lot of emotion.
I wish you the best on your vacation. Don't feel bad about sending H and son off on their own and get sometime for yourself! Bring along a good book and a scented candle...that always helps me.
