Deb, I think this can be an opportunity for you BOTH to rewrite that awful Thanksgiving trip, and replace it with a family memory..memories of you two as husband and wife and lovers and best friends. If you don't go, you are letting the tgiving trip be the definitive memory of that place for him. If you can muster the strength, then please don't let this happen!
As far as his comments about slighting him, it sounds like he is still feeling resentful and trying to justify his own actions. I would not defend yourself, just let his own hateful words dig himself a hole that even HE doesn't want to be in. You know what my H would say to me? He would reply, "I'm sorry things got to that point; all I can do is look to the future now and never let it happen again."
BOY there was nothing to argue with that one. It was the truth--can't go back and undo the past, right. And also there was nowhere else to go but forward! It was irrefutable, although I did give it my best shot in continuing to be ugly. I feel terrible about this, btw, and I guarantee that your H feels like a gigantic turd for saying things like that to you, his biggest fan and most ardent supporter.
One last comment: If you really believe that it was Satan who put those pictures in your path last night, then do NOT let him win by allowing those images to pervade the entire trip. Pray a lot and do not mention it again to H, if you can, so that he does not begin sabotaging the trip, out of his own confused feelings of guilt and shame over what he has done to you.
Hang in there; I will say lots of prayers for you both and have very high hopes for this trip to strengthen you and make you remember why you chose each other!!!
