Hi Pamila, yeah, the goal question is helpful....I have been thinking that if I can muster the strength, it could really be a chance to shine....I did ask H also this morning if he was planning on staying and if vacation would be chance for us to start building our new M or if he would just be having his mind constantly focused on where/what they did there....H said he was hesitant to answer since I didn't seem to believe anything he says anymore.....I had asked him that because it would affect how I feel about the trip greatly...H said he was hoping we would have some time for some really good talks. He also admitted this morning that he was still angry with me for what he perceives as my slighting him.....I knew that deep down as well.
I swear it feels right now like the devil is throwing all hes got at us...I cant figure out why, except that H has always been one of the "really good" ones....I mean, what kind of victory is it to add another "clinker" to the fold? I am praying that God will give me the strength and grace to ride this thing out, and that he will give H what he needs for healing. I have always believed that God brought us together, and I can't believe that he suddenly changed his mind. Either last weekend or the weekend before H was saying the same thing
S desperately wants me to go on vacation, that's another consideration.
H did make the comment this morning that we have many good memories that pre-date the time he spent there with her...and that maybe how we looked at things would effect how we do on the trip.
