can a m survive on vacations alone? on the stray occassional here and there catch as catch can moments of conversation? on the few and far between time spent alone together?
can a "typical" unscarred m survive on that alone? can a scarred m survive?
feeling lost, feeling hopeless, feeling like I live with a stranger who sleeps in my bed and occassionaly even has sex with me but is it a relationship? would it matter if I or he were someone else?
as usual I am tired...tired of living my life alone...not satisfied with the status quo...not satisfied to just be happy and greatful that I have a man who pays the bills...I'm sorry that I want more...I'm sorry that I'm not satisfied to be able to go on a family vacation...I'm sorry that I'd like to know the man with whom I share a family and home instead of feeling like it wouldn't matter if I suddenly weren't here 'course he may wonder why the beds not made or there's no food or the laundry isn't done or where the kids are but other than that? honestly...
