Quote: LL, Lemme ask you this: If you have a hard time getting your H to ML to you, why do you think it would be any different for the OW?
because affairs are very different than "actual" relationships and people behave differently in them
And I'm not being flip.
I know that.
I know that my H would have a freakin easy time of having an EA, even an extended EA, and not turning it physical. Ok, maybe not an easy time but he could do it, no problemo.
and I'm not completely doubting that mine couldn't either...but...
I have SEEN his willpower and I would have a tendency to believe him based on this.
I have a creative imagination that colors my ability to take h's past actions (or rather lack of action) as having much validity in the case
You know your H can go long periods of time without sex and doesn't have an overriding need for it. So this situation...an EA with no sex...would really be in keeping with his general personality wouldn't it?
'course it would...but there are plenty of ld folks who when they have an a suddenly find themselves in hd mode.
If the answer is yes, then maybe you can relax and go with that thought. If there was a great dichotomy between what his normal actions are vs. what he said happened with her, then yeah I'd say to keep on questioning. But he might be tellin the truth.
I know he might be telling the truth...but he might also not be telling the truth and that's what bugs me.
Glad to hear things are going good.
me too but I think it's mostly due to my just keeping myself otherwise occupied
Hey I wanted to ask you one more thing: My H is the type of guy who needs the emotional part in order to feel sexy. That is, he needs to feel my love and unconditional acceptance of him to desire me. Me prancing around in a nightie would not do it for him, but if I gave him an extended hug and told him how much I appreciated him and loved him, would.
I think it's safe to say that my h would fit that description though at times the prancing around in a nightie works too but I'm more likely to get results with simple admiration
Is your H like this? Could these guys operate more in the traditionally female roles (in this instance only--I know that your H and mine are no sissy boys, lol) in that they need an inordinate amount of affection and love in order to want sex?
yup, but as I said there are times when he's a manly man who just wants it to want it. hmmm on second thought there have been plenty of occassions when we are connecting on a mental/emotional level and then nada in the physical? I don't know where it comes from when it does....
I'm trying to nail down what it was that drew him to OW and therefore help you with your first question...why.
his answer was always..."she was nice" "she went to bat for me" stood up to her neighbors (also customers) over a billing issue when they were conisdering dropping his services. they had a frienship (I'd assume in the form of a typical client r) that somehow became more and he took an extra interest when she was diagnosed with cancer.
The what was already addressed in the above paragraph.
Take care lady. HP
Thanks for stopping by, I know I probably give lots of folks round here a headache.
