what's interesting is that though it would tend to make sense in a perfect world that if I just went about my business and kept myself happy h would then be more relaxed and find a way to share some time with me...it doesn't work that way.
Instead it seems to be that when I go about my business and keep myself happy h is happy and relieved that I'm happy and all pressure is off of him to spend time with me to "make me happy".
It is not until an outing of my feelings (usually at this point only when a conversation is initiated by him or instigated by an argument over another issue that I express a concern over the lack of "connecting" time spent together) that then leads to a bit of eggshell walking by both of us wich usually includes a bit more attention from h but once that new "tension" is gone...back to distant he goes and therefore I go. One could recommend that I don't distance myself simply because he has but it's hard to not be distant toward someone who's manner of being distant is to fall asleep...I mean what more than putting a blanket on them or waking them off the couch to walk up to bed can one not be distant?
Point is I don't want to keep having fights that lead to EACH of us saying things that the other doesn't want to hear or that may be masked frustration that only serves to hurt the other (that coming mostly from h) to get to a place where h make the little effort to be "present".
ie. big fight last night....and now h is saying (after calling refering to an im I sent about the washer being fixed) that he's trying to reschedule an appoint to an earlier time to get home earlier and maybe even be a bit more awake.
