LL-- I too know exactly what you mean. I sat today, Father's Day, after making eggs benedict for breakfast, giving H presents and cards from me and the girls, expecting some sign of ...something. He said thank you to the girls, gave them all hugs and barely looked at me. I expected something more, somehow. Then he fell asleep in his chair in front of the TV. OK, it's HIS day, right? He can do what he wants, but I remember our first father's day, our first mother's day, before D7 was born and how sweet he was and how involved in all that we did. Our first house and how much work we did together on that little house. That's what I want, even if it meant we were back to pinching pennies, at least we were together, a team.
What if I can't make it through another day like this?
What if I can't let go of the anger?
What if, when I go away for 3 weeks, he's not here when I get back?
What if the sun comes out tomorrow and our life turns around?
What if all this work brings a reward greater than I can imagine?
What if I hang on for one more day, then 2, then a week and it's all worth while in the end?
LL, ....only you can decide what's right for you, but don't give up because today is crappy. Like Scarlet O'Hara said, "after all, tomorrow is another day."
Have you read any trashy romance novels lately? I devoured one yesterday. I haven't read one in a long time. I could have been all over H like a wet shirt yesterday if he could have taken the hints. Scary, huh? Weird thing is, he was really nice to me yesterday after my emotional outburst the night before. See, maybe he is a Night in Shining Armor after all.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
