I'm not sure that I was insinuating anything in my post to you, but you did say "what if I were the one to have the a and leave?"
Over the years H and I had our arguments where we flung things at each other, as one does. They were said in the heat of the moment. Things like "Don't think I'm going to put up with this kind of rudeness for ever, because I won't!" which my H evidently saw as my threatening to leave him. Methinks he decided to beat me to it.
I asked at bomb time why he had never sat down with me and tried to wrok things out before... he said he had tried.
I certainly don't remember him trying, never spelled things out, but no doubt he thinks that some things he said or did constituted 'trying' in his eyes. I don't know cause he hasn't told me. Whatever, NOT good communication.
I know that things said in moments of lashing out, or sarcastic comments, never fall on fertile soil. I wonder what the contexts of your "What ifs?" in various wordings were?
LL, I am not out of sympathy, just trying to be constructive.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
