I know what you mean. I've heard it and I've felt it all here too. I haven't been to a lawyer, D is not what I want and don't even want to get started down that road. But my friends all think that I am fooling myself, that I'm being used and taken advantage of. Last night my girlfriends and I went to a movie, left H with the kids. Had a fun time until one of my friends started with " I just want you to understand that I'm only saying this because I worry about you...." and there it began. He's using you, he'll do it again, he doesn't respect you, he has all the power, etc.
It's so hard to keep a pma and take the high road, etc when all of my friends think I should cut him loose and get on with my life. What life? This is my life.
Yesterday I was determined that this was MY choice to be here and I was going to stay the course and follow thru. Today I feel like I can't go on another day like this. I just want it to come to a conclusion. Are we going to move on together and make it better, or are we going to go on like this forever. Me holding it all in and letting H steer the sinking ship?
It's only a week until I go on my trip to MN and WI to visit family. I can hang on that long. Maybe I'll come back with a renewed sense of purpose or at least some relief from the daily struggle.
Sorry, this is your story and I'm taking up space here. I'll go back to my own page.
Good luck and give yourself credit for doing the toughest thing you may ever have to do to keep your family together. That's the goal right? Maybe some day when he reaches enlightenment, he'll thank you for it.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
