Lots of good points in the preceding posts, and minimally the point made by Annalise is something you should clarify
Quote: Ask H if he is just LOOKING at porn, or is he having phone sex or cyber sex. I feel strongly that talking and interacting with live people is different than looking at pictures and videos
Of course if you don't feel that looking is "less" than other interactions, then that's not going to reassure you.
As a male I can tell you that I look at porn, but would never think of cheating on my wife (I've even turned down, well ignored actually, a couple of unsolicted propositions in the 20+ years we've been married, but I digress). It's likely that your husband feels the same....and yes, my wife feels very much like you, but those are my and her issues, not yours.
One thing that might help, both with your concerns and his need for porn is to pick up a copy of "Passionate Marriage" by David Schnarch. If you and your husband can connect on all the various levels outlined in the book' "Eyes-Open Orgasm", "F###ing, Doing and Being Done", etc, then I can't imagine that he would seriously consider anything other than looking, and he might stop looking. I know I'd be estatic is my wife and I could connect as descibed in the book. More important you'll likely not be as concerned if he does continue to look.
