I totally agree with Acorn's wise advice. Do try to get over it. I know it's hard. It took me awhile to get over it too. MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. My H likes porn, and it was an issue in our marriage. Then when I took up with OM and found out he loved porn, of course it was all of a sudden something I wanted to keep an open mind about and understand and accept, since OM can do no wrong. Crazy... and it just goes to show... your attitude about porn can change if you are motivated! Let all your good feelings toward H motivate you.

You are wise to be concerned about the dishonesty, however! Discuss with your H that honesty is required even when you are not making it easy for him to be honest. Discuss that it is required even when he is ashamed or fears making you angry, and that "not telling" you something he knows you would want to know, is the same as lying. Hold hands, look him in the eyes, and gain a renewed committment to full honesty. This is important to all M's but especially to yours, because you have a randy H on your hands. That's not bad!! I bet he's fun, c'mon admit it.

I highly recommend watching porn with your H, and try to enjoy it and really share his enthusiasm for it. You will LEARN about your H's sexuality this way, and that's critical, if you want him to remain monogamous. If you make him keep porn "to himself" so as not to offend you, you will be forfeiting the opportunity for maximal sexual intimacy, and that's not good. I am not at all concerned that he looks at porn, but I am concerned that it is something you don't feel inclined to SHARE sometimes.

Don't worry about H saying he will always want to be with other people. Most men feel that way, if they are honest. It is how they are set up, biologically. It has nothing to do with love. The important thing is, does he feel he can REMAIN monogamous? If yes, get off his back, already. Really, if you want him to be honest with you, try not to give him a hard time when he IS honest.
If he worries that he will NOT be able to remain monogamous, don't flip out, just head to a marriage counselor, that is not an impossible problem to address.

Ask H if he is just LOOKING at porn, or is he having phone sex or cyber sex. I feel strongly that talking and interacting with live people is different than looking at pictures and videos. If you feel the same way, then you will want to clarify these boundaries with H. Don't assume he "knows" how you feel. Good Luck.

A.