I'm 24 and will have been married for 8 months on Friday. My h and I have been together for 9 years. About two years ago I found out he had been looking at porn on the internet, which to me is infidelity. It came out in our discussions that he felt like he had missed out on a big part of life by not having sex with lots of grls when he was younger (although he did have a "relationship" with another girl during a brief breakup). He said he loved me and wanted to marry me, but wished that we had met each other later in life. He said he would never acually cheat on me, but that he was really interested in having sex with other women, that he always would be, and that I would never find a man who wasn't. We reconciled, he promised he was done with the porn, but refused to budge on (to me, at least) this larger issue of wanting to sow oats. So we got married. This morning I was doing a virus scan on the computer, and noticed as it was flipping through the files that there were cookies for all these websites in a folder: asianmatchmaker.com, penthouse, etc. There was a huge range of dates, so he has obviously never stopped looking, and has been lying to me for years. So I confronted him about it, and he says it's a compulsion, he can't help it, he wants to stay married, so on. But he still feels the same way about other women and regrets not getting more action. I peronally am not interested in being married to someone who says he will always want to be with other people. How do you guys see this? Am I a prude? Is his "philosophical infidelity" something I should be concerned about? Personally, I feel like this prolonged dishonesty is reason enough not to want to be married anymore. I can't see how I will ever be able to trust him again. What do you think?
