Thanks Tom and J.. Well first I wanted to clear something up. I was not praying for sex. I pray everynight before I go to sleep..Okay I might miss once in awhile but I try to everynight. I did pray that he help me with what ever it is that I need to be learning and that I feel hurt and rejected and don't know how to get through these feelings I asked him to guide me and provide me with the tools to live the way he see's fit.. I believe things are the way in our lives for a reason so there must be a lesson here for me just don't know what it is and it's driving me nuts!!!! Also J I wanted to let you know awhile back I realize that he was using cuddling and ML as the same thing. So I cleared that up with him awhile back and let him know when I want to cuddle, thats it I just want cuddle. So he knows were I stand on the diffrence I don't use the two together unless I want both.. Also I wasn't trying to do anything sexual with him like I said before I am trying to act like I'm not in the mood.. I am so tired of doing things when he wants to. And he knows he has me all he has to do is ask. Maybe that's part of the problem I'm to easy. He doesn't have to work at being with me I'm always ready with bells on. So he doesn't have to work at it at all.. Make sense? Also I don't understand because he doesn't give much FP at all. Not very often or very long.. I do on the other hand almost everytime.. I only O maybe 1 time out of 5 so why do I care so much if we do anything anyway?? I feel like he is selfish when we do and most of the time I end up being hornier (don't know if that is a word) than when we started.. I appreciate you all talking to me about this I just don't know what to do.. And I have put in so much effort in the past I feel burnt out in that area.. I bet we have tried almost everything at least once well between two people anyway not anymore.. So what am I don't wrong.. And yes I try to tell myself all the time I am sexy and I love to dress that way on the weekends.. Not through the week for my job.. But just little things that help me feel sexier. I do that for me not him.. Thanks for listening I feel like I am just carrying on and on but feel so hurt, rejected and lost.. ;-)
