You have two separate problems: 1. You're horny. 2. Your husband's actions/rejections make you feel undesirable.
The first one can be taken care of with "C" cell batteries. At least, that's what I've gathered. You don't feel like doing more with H after taking care of yourself.
The second one also requires some effort on your part. Whenever you feel unattractive, FORCE yourself to recall that you actually know better.
If you had an affair that would only serve as an ego boost - a lift for your own vanity.
This, I believe, is what you can do to take care of yourself. Next on the list is what to do about ol' slugwort. And that's easier to deal with when you aren't upset or feeling needy. Be sure to get that order right: Take care of you first. Then try to resolve the other.
I wish you well. I also wish I had a wife who prayed and wanted me.
