Thanks everyone for sharing and the advice. I know I am at my witts end and don't know what to do.. I appreiate everyones help on here.. Actually I couldn't wait to get on here and see what the replies were.. Last night after I got off here I went to bed and H wasn't asleep yet. He rose up and gave me a kiss.. I asked where that came from. He didn't answer and so I said I am not complaining that was nice. Then a few minutes later I asked him if he wanted to cuddle.. He said "Do you want to?" I said never mind I can tell you don't want to. He said it's just that I am comfortable. Geeze can't even get him to cuddle. I said "Sorry" he said why I said "For Asking. And left it at that. And prayed and went to sleep. It hurt though. I told you guys I wasn't going to act like I was in the mood at all and I didn't but when it seemed like it was a bother to even cuddle I felt very hurt and rejected again... Yes I do think that having a LD partner is hard on your self-esteem. Actually I have never felt this isecure sexually in my entire life as I do now. I think why it is harder with women is because society teaches us that all men want to ML so why doesn't the M in our life want to? We start thinking what is wrong with me why is it diffrent with my H. People tend to accept that women have a LowerD than do men. So it feels like a hard blow when our H doesn't have a HD. I am so tired of being at his mercy I can't stand it and am having a hard time not letting it get the best of me. I am having another problem too.. There's this guy at work and he pays a lot of attention to me and let's me know he finds me attractive. When his flirting started really picking up I backed off to let him know I was uncomfortable with it. Then there are other days where it is nice to know that someone finds me attractive. I am not one to cheat on my husband it goes against my belief system.. I guess what I am saying is that I am afraid I don't trust myself and one of these days I make take that attraction to another level I know I don't want to but damb I just want to be desired.. This is tough.. What gets me is a lot of people find me attractive.. Even my oldest son didn't mind taking me to the pool with him. He doesn't get embarassed by me (he's 12) and I commented about it and he said that his friends think I am hot and some of their dad's too.. So why doesn't my H want me?? Gosh I feel so confused and hurt.. I almost feel rejected on a daily basis.. This stuff is hard.. Thanks everyone for listening... ;-)
