Take it from someone who has tried exactly what you are trying it will not work. It will just allow the other person to go and do what they want. If they are never confronted with what they are doing they will never change. I would suggest you tell you H exactly what you want. Don't complain about what your not getting but tell him in a very exact way what you need. If you need to ML 3 times a week tell him that. Then have consequences for it if it does not happen.
I myself have tried the no pressure approach and went months without it. By the time I finally said hey I was so angry and resentful that it caused more problems than it was worth.
