Smiles: I hear you. If you mention it, it's pressure. If you touch your spouse suggestively, it's pressure. If you sigh when you're rejected for the nth time, it's pressure. And, if you just smile and glide through your life, pretending that everything is okay, then they think everything is okay and that you must not want to ML since you're not complaining about it. Oh, and then you mention after months of this pretending that you have really been missing ML, and then it's, "I know you've been thinking about sex...even though you've been acting all fine with it, you're still thinking about it. That's pressure!"
The way I see it, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. So go ahead and pressure him. Tell him you want sex at least x times a week or month. Oh, and add, if he doesn't want to share himself with you that often, no problem, but he'll have to live with the consequences of his decision not to share. Leave it at that.
Of course, I've been on this board for months now and have never gotten up the nerve to tell this to my W, but it's easier to tell other people to do this than to do it myself.
Oh, and by the way, you don't need your husband's permission to masturbate. Do what YOU want.
