Hi Smiles, I can relate to your feelings as right now my H feels pressure from me in my attempts to make the marriage more intimate. I never realized that when you are the partner with higher desire how it hurts your sense of attractiveness/esteem. I am sure the HDM on the board will disagree with me here, but I feel the rejection is worse for a woman. The 2 books that have helped me the most are SSM and PM( Passionate Marriage, by Schnarch). SSM talks about taking the pressure off by doing the opposite of what you have been doing, and working on yourself in other areas as you wait it out. PM is about strengthening and asserting yourself as an individual in the marriage, and points out that these impasses( or gridlocks as he calls them) are an inevitable part of marriage, and that you need to "hold onto yourself" and stand up for what you want in order to make the marriage grow. By being your own person and not succumbing to the pull of the relationship, the marriage can move forward.
Keep posting...as I have said before, there are some very intelligent people here who can work with you through your interactions, and it's great to not feel so alone in this. Journey
