I like the way you think. I haven't read PM, but if this is an example of what's in it, maybe I should.
Actually, I never thought of it that way. If I ask her what the problem is, the onus is on me to address/correct/respond to whatever she comes up with. If I just tell her what I want/need, the onus is on her to do something - or not. Assuming that she has something she believes to be a legitimate reason, she could lob it back to me by telling me that she would like to meet my needs, but can't because of blah, blah, blah. But even in that case, rather than just saying, "What do I have to fix?", I'm putting her in the position where it's clear that SHE is making the decision. Good thinking!
