LD men would love to be with LD women. I think my own father-inlaw and mother-inlaw are exactly this way. THey have not had sex in probably 40+ years. Can I understand the mindset of a LD man or women, not in a million years, it is totally foreign to me. But that does not make them wrong, just different.
Quote: Are you saying that anyone who can't see the value of a good woman outside of the bedroom is out of their mind? What about an honest, loyal, faithful, supportive, woman who loves life, loves and cares for her children and does her best to provide a nurturing home for them and her husband? Is she worth less than a woman who wants to f**k three times a day? I think not.
The LD women you describe is full of very admirable qualities, and yet, that type of women can make NO deposits in my Love Bank. She is not talking my love langauge at all. The sexual women would be making BIG deposits in my love bank. Since I have 3 children, they need mom #1, so I have to keep trying, at least until they are grown up enough.
Quote: If you think having an LD partner is "so incredibly INCOMPATIBLE" and if you think that the LD partner "will never really be capable of matching up", then what's the point of even trying?
What I was trying to say here is that Michelle says several times in SSM that the HD man needs to show A LOT of empathy towards his LD wife. I believe that this is code for "Realize that they have much to overcome, and even their best efforts will not be what you were hoping for, so please set your sights MUCH lower." The question is if I can find a level of acceptable desire with her that she has any realistic shot at filling.
As far as the Backard arousal pattern, I meant that some people expeience desire in a way that is very differnet then most people. My wife can experience arrousal if I do enough foreplay. But this type of sex sucks. There is no connection emotionally being made. It's like going shopping all day every Saturday with someone that is only "Willing" to shop. They are such a drag on the shopping experience that eventually, the one with more desire for shopping says, what the heck, why bother shopping with this person anymore. Who wants to drag someone around that does not love shopping. Sex works the same way. I want to have affection and sex with someone tha WANTS the affection and sex almost as bad as I do. Froom what I see from my wife and from the wives of men on here, these LD women don't see sex as an EMOTION. They are hung up on the frequency and the mechanics of sex. They have to get WAY beyond that. Sex is something that you have to DESIRE in order to be good at it. LD women tend to be clockwatchers at sex, and this totally RUINS the event. I have seen my wife as both HD and LD. In her LD state, she is the complete opposite of what I want to be married to. Every book or website I have read gives examples of solutions to the HD/LD problem. They all show examples where the LD actually regained their HD abiblities, or at least learned to fake being HD very well. I have never seen a solution where remaining LD worked.
Remember, in PM, for a truly passionate marriage to exist, the spouses must learn to desire each other, and that includes physical desire. The name of the game is DESIRE.
