Hi CeMar, I empathize with your need to feel desired, and I am struggling with the same thing. At this point in your marriage, it's not going to magically happen. You have to be willing to take the small steps...steps that really don't feel so great. It's more like asking her to make the effort to connect, with the hope that at some point natural desire will kick in. I feel you need to talk to her directly and let her know that it's not okay for the two of you to go to sleep on opposite sides of the bed. Let her know that you understand she needs her sleep and her space, but that you need a connection with her. Tell her what you have in mind (perhaps 15 min of hugging is a good place to start) and ask if she has any suggestions. It will feel like effort and work, because that's what change is...and you have to be willing to go through it. Believe me, I know exatly what it is that you want, what we all want on this board, but you have to get there step by step. I get tripped up all the time by sensing my H's lack of true desire, but over time, he has made increasing effort and we have had some great moments. It is not easy, but you have to jump in and get started, and give up the fantasy that she will just desire you. J
