I'm finally making the move over here. I've been contemplating it for some time, but now things feel right and I'm ready to make the jump.
Ex-H (I still call him H, it's easier) and I have been divorced for about two weeks, now, but H seems to be showing a glimmer of reconnecting and coming back into my life as a force. The question is, does he know it, yet?
The day of the D, I asked H not to dissapear from my life, fulling expecting he was going to do just that. After 8 months of him telling me what I wanted to hear, blowing me off, and lying, I was sure he was going to head for the hills and never look back now that he finally had his freedom.
Imagine my surprise when less than a week later he showed up at my door, just to say "Hi". And when he showed up four days after that, to invite me to come watch him march in a parade as a member of our local fire department.
I'm very much intriqued by his sudden change of attitude. He used to get irritated with me if we happened to bump into each other at the gas station before the divorce. When he first walked out on me, he tried to ignore me for three weeks. After he finally half-assedly explained our marriage was "over" as far as he was concerned, I wasn't allowed to contact him or see him in any way. We spent a good majority of our separation living totally separate lives, the way WAH wanted it.
There is another woman in the picture, his best friend of 15 years. H used to live with her and her boyfriend, but has since moved out. I call her "Friend That Hates Me", or FTHM for short. She's basically a force behind H's personality change and our divorce, seeing as she paid for the papers to be filed. A serpent's tounge in his ear, making our fixable M problems way worse than they were.
I'm not sure if H is slowly coming to see how controling FTHM is and is standing up to her little by little, or not, but I do know that he's damned well aware of the fact that she disapproves of me in his life.
He seems to be ignoring her opinons, this time around, though. One can only hope.
Right now, H and I have a date for tomorrow. He called me at work this morning to firm up plans, which is unlike the alien H had become. Our plans are to watch him in the parade, meet back at my place and then go for a hike. Then he wants to cook me dinner at his apartment, which I've never seen before. Then he said we'll "take it from there", and see how our night progresses.
I guess I'm hoping this new thread will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If H is ready to stand up to FTHM and bring me back into his life, I'm willing to SLOWLY work with him to regain my trust in him and possibly rekindle our relationship.
However, it's up to H. I can move on with him or I can move on with out him.
