I agree, those posts from Willtry are awesome, but I noticed something in your reply:
In discussions today my W says that she has maintained zero contact with OM. This could be the truth. I know that she typed an email to him about my trip out of town, but I don't know that she sent it since he hasn't replied.
From this, I am assuming that you are still having talks about your R. Ya gotta stop this man, otherwise the only results you will get are this:
She says though, that even without him in the picture, she doesn't feel any better towards me and she is still unhappy with our M, as she was before she met OM.
Look familiar? Your DBing starts with no longer reading her email, and no longer talking to her about R, even if she wants to, you just listen and get out of that conversation as quickly and gracefully as you can.
