First for all I don't perceive the approach that I am recommending as "hardline". What it recognizes is that spouses have the right to make choices as how they want to live . In fact, I believe the hardline approach is the one which doesn't respect the right of married adults to make choices and forces the unhappy spouse to stay against her will. In Q's case his wife is in a turmoil about what to do (guilt vs.family obligations( and is debating whether to take her affair to the next level. Meanwhile, Q is viewed by his wife as a horrible person who is preventing her happiness with the OM.. That is why I feel It is important for Q to come across as a loving, thoughtful husband who will not stand in the way of her happiness rven if means filing for divorce. It is at this point, the fantasy begins to crack and reality begins to set in. She is going to have to think about what kind of life she is going to have as a single person with the OM ? Is the OM really interested in marrying her or is he only using her? What kind of stepfather will he be to the children??How will her parents and family view her? Will they accept this OM in their lives. Will he cheat on her in the future as he is doing with his live-in girlfriend?
