"True, physical contact can indeed increase emotions and bonding, but so can the "missing" and frustration of staying away from physical contact and e-mailing eachother about the agony of it all, so I would try not to go crazy over what she does or doesn't do."
Maybe I am old fashioned but adultery in my book is not a behaviour that should be viewed with understanding and empathy. Acceptance will only convey the message that she has nothing to loose if she goes ahead with betraying you. My friend, if you hope to possibily save your marriage and stop this affair you need to bring things to a head. Right now you don't have a very high importance in her life compared to the OM. What you need to do is bring her back down to earth. To do this you need to bring the situation out in the open and make it clear that it is not fair to you and the the family for her to carry on a clandestine relationship with this OM. If she is unhappy with her marriage and wants to be with this man or any other man you are ready to release her from her marriage vows. You are ready to go with her to a lawyer and mutually file immediately for divorce. Remind her that you didn't force her to marry you and you are not going to force her to stay married if she is so unhapppy. If she chooses to commit to being married to you than she is expected to stop all contact with the OM and focus on rebuilding her relationship with you.
